Far reaching, but short sighted…

There used to be a time where we lived real communities. We knew our neighbors and their children, and they knew ours. Our children were required to respect them as authority figures, and in return we could count on them to BE authority figures, and the community watched for their own as if they WERE their own. We knew that if our kid was with Johnny that Johnny’s parents would watch over them and keep them in line.

That’s largely the stuff of myth and legend now. Many don’t even know their next door neighbor beyond a first name, if that. Even in our generation, we knew how it was for our parents and we could see it shrinking bit by bit in our own time. I was able to stay out until the street lights came on… but can we let our kids do that now?

The changes in technology and modern society now allow us to reach out to a complete stranger anywhere on the planet at a moments notice… and yet the more access we have to the world, the more we isolate ourselves from the people and things closest to us. We are dedicated to online communities and forums, but have little interest in who’s walking down our streets.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We can still reach across the world, and still take time to reach out to a neighbor and shake his/her hand. We can get online and donate money in an instant, but not neglect to feed someone in need right before our very eyes. We need more eye contact, handshakes, and REAL face time.

We can still reach far, without losing sight of what’s before us. Use that long arm to reach more, not over.

The Negro Motorist Green Book

A friend shared this with me a while back… I had no clue that such a thing existed. Little known stuff like this needs to be covered in our schools, especially when kids are driving to school right into their first year of high school and don’t give it a second thought. This should give us more appreciation for the endurance of past generations next time we get behind teh wheel. Share this with others!

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The Negro Motorist Green Book was a publication released in 1936 that served as a guide for African-American travelers. Because of the racist conditions that existed from segregation, blacks needed a reference manual to guide them to integrated or black-friendly establishments. That’s when they turned to “The Negro Motorist Green Book: An International Travel Guide by activist Victor Green and presented by the Esso Standard Oil Company. Originally provided to serve Metropolitan New York, the book received such an alarming response, it was spread throughout the country within one year. The catch phrase was Now we can travel without embarrassment

The Green Book often provided information on local tourist homes, which were private residences owned by blacks and open to travelers. It was especially helpful to blacks that traveled through sunset towns or towns that publicly stated that blacks had to leave the town by sundown or it would be cause for arrest. Also listed were hotels, barbershops, beauty salons, restaurants, garages, liquor stores, ball parks and taverns. It also provided a listing of the white-owned, black-friendly locations for accommodations and food.

The publication was free, with a 10-cent cost of shipping. As interest grew, the Green Book solicited salespersons nationwide to build its ad sales.

Inside the pages of the Green Book were action photos of the various locations, along with historical and background information for the readers’ review. Within the pages of the introduction, the guide states, There will be a day sometime in the near future when this guide will not have to be published. That is when we as a race will have equal opportunities and privileges in the United States .”

The Green Book printed its last copy in 1964 after the passing of the Civil Rights Act. Here is the 1949 book in its entirety

http://www.autolife.umd.umich.edu/Race/R_Casestudy/Negro_motorist_green_bk.htm

The Answer

A question has been running through my mind a lot lately.

It has already been answered before.

It must be answered still.

The answer is a daily recurrence.

The answer was given from the very start.

I must continue to seek that answer.

I must never forget the answer even as I’m seeking it.

My answer must be correct.

If my answer is incorrect, then I must correct it.

My answer must remain correct.

It is not for me to say if my answer is correct or not.

My answer cannot deviate for foolishness.

It is useless to ask myself unless I answer.

My answer is not in these words.

Even as I answer, I must continue to find more answers.

My answer is never finished.

I owe this to Him.

I owe this to her.

I owe this to him.

And I owe this to myself.

Sometimes…

Sometimes…

I want to say “I quit”, even though I’m not giving up.

I want to say “forget it” but it stays fresh in my mind

I don’t want to show frustrations, but still want it to be acknowledged

I feel like I’m losing, even though I know I will win

I feel like I’ve been set up for failure, yet poised for success

I cry, but understand that my tears don’t make me any less of a man

I want empathy, but have no need of anyone’s pity

I feel that I’m lacking, even thought I have everything that I need

I want to do the right thing, but for the wrong reason

I feel like my thoughts are scrambled, even though my steps are ordered

Sometimes I start writing, then forget what the purpose was

Sometimes… I don’t need one.

Netbooks: Yes, thanks!

Perhaps you’ve seen them in an electronics store near you… they look like a laptop, but are significantly smaller. They’re called “netbooks”, and unlike previous attempts and creating ultra portable computers, these seem to be catching on in a major way.

I have an Acer Aspire One, with built in 3G. There was a deal going at Radio Shack where you get the Acer for $99 if you sign up for a wireless data plan with AT&T. Committing to a 2-year contract is a turn off for most, but for me it was nobig deal. It gets used quite regularly so it’s well worth it for us.

I only say us because the handiness of it has grown on my wife. I had initially bought it for myself since wifey was using the laptop more and more. While the keyboard on the Acer seemed too small for her at first, she got used to of and often takes it to work with her I get through the dull times during the day.

I’m not so much of a gadget and tech freak that I can spit out a bunch of tidbits, factoids, statistics, and that sort of jibber-jabber regarding whether or not netbooks are anything more than a passing fad or if there’re here to stay. I just know that while they’re not for everyone, it’s a great fit for me. Try one for yourself and see if it’s right for you.

iPhone 3G: Yes, thanks!

Today I made the big switch from Blackberry to iPhone. So far… WOW this thing is cool! I have loved my BB Curve and it was great up until it started acting screwy. It was almost 2 years old, so I figured t as time for an upgrade. Saw a good deal on a refurbished iPhone 3G and jumped at it since a BB Bold wasn’t within my reach.

The iPhone arrived today and so far it’such easier to use than I had expected. I thought that typing long SMS mesages would be a complete pain in the rear, but here I am typing this very post win ease. Of course, the WordPress app makes it better since it has a landscape jeyboard within the app. Having a landscape keyboard across all apps is one thing I’m looking forward to in the upcoming 3.0 upgrade.

So the first impression has been very good! Looking forward to getting more familiar with it and trying more apps.

Venting… but no backdraft?

I can probably sum up what I’m about to say in one phrase: Some people want to fart in the wind, but are shocked and appalled when the wind changes quickly and their own stink returns to their noses.

I understand that we all need to vent sometimes.  I’m the one that does the venting on occasion to trusted friends, and I have those that trust me to come to me for their release.  Sometimes we just need someone to hear us out.  That’s perfectly fine.  And sometimes, we don’t necessarily want or need any feedback, pep talk, or whatever… we just need to be heard.  That’s alright sometimes.

What irks the crap out of me, however,  is when you have folks that want to release and vent and spew and piss and moan and whine all over the place, but RARELY want any real feedback, especially when it’s gonna tell them about themselves.  Worse yet, they even cop an attitude toward you even you even attempt to interject anything unless you’re in complete agreement with them.

Maybe the reason that it gets on my nerves so much is that I expect my friends to give me some perspective, or to put me in check when I’m out of order.  What a crazy notion, right?

I’m sorry… but if you’re coming sideways then don’t come blowing off steam to me and expect me to just say “yeah”, nod my head in agreement, or give any such indication that I agree with, condone, or consent to your point of view.  When this is almost ALWAYS the case, you’re not really looking for a release… you’re just looking for someone to cosign and validate you in your mess.  Get real and GROW UP.

Oh, and let me drop this little tidbit… if you’re always complaining about what “people” are always saying to or about you, and these “people” are really the ones that are appointed in your life to look out for your best interests, your well being, and your very SOUL… then SHUT UP AND LISTEN.  They very well might be wrong in any particular instance… but at least take a doggone second to humble yourself, get your rump off of your shoulders, your nose out of the air, and HONESTLY EVALUATE YOURSELF.

Treasuring my dear friends

Before I begin, I must point out that I’m not much of a writer.  As I start to do the blogging thing more frequently, I realize that sometimes when I try to express my thoughts in written form, it just doesn’t seem to come out the way that I want it to.  Nonetheless, here I go…

I truly treasure my dearest friends.  I don’t have a lot of them… many acquaintances and many friends, but very few DEAR friends.  The select few that I can confide in, trust in, and have that same commitment and trust from me.  Sometimes they are someone who you’ve been close to for a very long time… sometimes they are someone that  you haven’t had that sort of history with, but somehow have that unspoken and effortless connection with.

There are certain qualities that these dear friends have that make them special to me… not that other friends lack these qualities, but the ones special to you are the ones you know without a doubt that you can rely on for a different level of communication.  It can’t always been explained, but you just feel it.

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Consistency: No Flip-Flopping

I’ve learned by experience the importance of being consistent in words and actions, and when it comes to your closest relationships it is that much more critical.  I am fed up with wishy washy nonsense from folks, whether they been acquaintances, family, or co-workers.  It’s a shame when you can’t take a person’s words at face value because that person has become notorious for flip-flopping as soon as it’s convenient for them.  Then when you you call them on it, you get some crap excuse similar to "well that was different" or sometimes they just dismiss or ignore it. 

Now this doesn’t mean that you got to folks expecting the same type of response from them every time.  A dear friend’s consistency is in not having to second guess their words, or suspecting that they’re gonna flip flop on you when it’s good for them.  You can take it to heart and know that they really mean what they say.

Objectivity

I like to think that I’m pretty good when it comes to thinking objectively.  When I disagree with something, I’m usually able to take a step back and try to view the situation from multiple perspectives and weigh that against my own viewpoint to make the most objective decision/opinion possible.  Nonetheless, it seems like common sense to me that to get a truly objective viewpoint, you need to get it from more than your own brain.  So to be able to got to that dear friend that is like-minded in their attempt to be objective when giving advise is a quality that shouldn’t be undervalued.

Be real, whether it’s favorable or not

Sometimes when we’re seeking the advice or counseling of others, what we want to hear and what we need to hear may be completely different.  A real friend isn’t one that just tickles your ears and fills your head with what you want ot hear and what makes you feel good inside.  Sometimes they’ll need to tell you something that might offend or even hurt you… but they’re doing it for your good.

The problem here is that some folks have real friends, and can’t appreciate it because they don’t want  the real answer.  They really want to hear the convenient answer, the answer that favors them, the answer that they feels justifies their mess, even if it’s not the correct answer.  So, sadly, they’ll turn from their true friends and run to the people that will scratch their itching ears just right.

I thank God that not only do I have people in my life that can and will tell me about myself when I need to be told, but that I’m humble enough to take it even if it stings.

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I know this is just the tip of the iceberg on this subject.  I’ll point out that as much as I try to exhibit these same quality to those that are dear to me, I’m still working on myself.  We all are, we’re not perfect, and we sometimes come up short in these very same qualities that I’ve described.  Lord knows I have.  But there’s a huge difference between sometimes falling short and constantly laying down because the effort isn’t even being made.

That said, I encourage each of you to take the time to appreciate the ones that you hold dear, the ones that you love, the ones that you depend on to keep you straight… and work just as hard to be that same friend for them.

Awww HECK naw!

I made these comments on a friends page on Facebook who posted this video, and I just had to blog it as well…

http://www.whoisthemonkey.com/videos/23/son-slaps-mom-on-dr-phil

If you just watched that and are a parent that believes in “spare the rod, spoil the child”, then you’re probably hype and ready to break off a pillar to crack this boy’s behind with.  Let me count this off…

1. The second he raised his voice it would have been knocked back down.
2. The moment he pointed his finger at me like that, he would have drawn back a stump cuz I would have ripped that sucka backwards.
3. Shut up?!? Did you just tell me to shut up???? OH LAWD GIVE ME SKREMPH CUZ I’M ABOUT TO SHOW THIS BOY WHAT SHUT UP REALLY IS!
4. Wanna lay some hands, eh? Aiiiight… Call the cops in advance, and tell them to bring Child Protective Serivces with them. Have some family members put together cash for some bail money and a good lawyer, then meet me at the jail. Hire some contractors and tell them to be ready to replace some windows and walls… While y’all getting all that together, I’ll be doing some remodeling of lil man’s face with said objects needing repair. Not a whuppin’… a BEATING. One of those “oh you think you grown and can take me??” beatings.

I hope that kid gets a good ol’ fashioned community beating, where any adult in authority within 10 miles comes to line up and put in some work on his behind.

Daddy’s Favorite Noggin Shows

Let me preface this by saying that my wife and I are not the type of parents that lets the TV raise our kids. These days, there is just way too much of that going on. Kids get sent to some crappy daycare of babysitter who sometimes parks them in front of the TV, then they come home and it’s either more TV or video games.

We make it a point to spend a ton of time with him, talking to him (not a bunch of baby babble talk either), and read to him (which, admittedly, we don’t do enough of lately). As he discovers new things, we make ourselves part of the process. For example, when we he discovered “himself” and would reach and grab during a diaper change, we’d tell him “Yes Evan, your penis is still there.” He may not have a clue as to what’s going on, but we’re setting a foundation in him… proper names for things, behavior, etc.

But as much as we interact with him, it’s almost inevitable that he’s gonna see the TV. Whether he’s sitting in a room with us, or playing and walking endless circles around whatever object happens to be on the floor, the TV will probably be on at some point and it will get his attention.

That said… our living room TV is set to “Noggin” quite a bit.  There are shows that clearly draw Evan’s attention more than others… and the same goes for Mom and Dad.  Tiana and I have our favorites that, in the occasional fit of silliness, we find ourselves enjoying more than Evan.  Here are a few that I like…

The Backyardigans – What can I say… Evan loves this show, and so do I for my own reasons.  The characters are unique, the presentation is vibrant, and their adventures are imaginative, creative, and just plain fun.  But what I like most is the music.  This show brings quite an array of tunes from all sorts of genres.  These kids can get down, and even be downright funky when they wanna.

Wonderpets – My wife thought this show was ultra-cute from the start.  I make a habit of mocking it whenever I could just to mess with her.  Truthfully, the show is cute.  Each episode they set out to rescue some young critter errr.. varmint I mean… animal in trouble.  The learn lessons along the way, but the biggest theme for the show is teamwork.  I still love to mock the show to my wife for my own amusement… in particular, how the parents of the resued baby whatever always show up after the fact (hehehehe).  But it is a very good show for the kiddies.

Little Bill – From the mind of Bill Cosby comes something refreshing… a kids show with a black family that isn’t cheesy.  Little Bill demonstrates a lot of the dynamics that occur in a family like this, and addresses a lot of those things in such a way that kids can understand and make sense of the things that happen in real life, while still learning the life lessons that you’d expect.

The Upside Down Show – This show is one of those learning shows that lean more on the “goofy fun” side… and it’s just that.  These two guys are SIL-LY, and very entertaining as they go on new adventures while discovering something “for the first time”.  You can tell that they are ginuinely having a great time while doing what they do best.  This is one of the few shows that can make Evan consistently stop what he’s doing to watch and laugh.

That’s all for now.  There are a few shows that get on my absolute last nerve… maybe I’ll post about those another time.